let me just start with saying that i have never been a fan of valentines day, even now that i am in a relationship. it seems we put so much pressure on this day for it to be so romantic and magical. well our day wasn't any of that, we had a lovely picnic with the kids and got sushi and chicken teriyaki and pb&j sandwiches for our little funny valentines. since the weather hasn't been so pretty we didn't stay very long after eating our food we just gave the rest to the birdies and took off, it was too windy and cold for the playground. we took flowers and a card to my mom in law and spend the rest of the day visiting... what i am starting to get over now is not having any romance on valentines day.. we have love, laughter and romance most days of the year but it just wasn't right yesterday. out of six years of being with my mister, we have only spent one other valentines day and it was so nice going to vegas because he had to play there. im not a fan of going to vegas but getting away with my love was fun, we always have fun together. i am not going to sit here and type a phony story or dish him out but real life isn't always what we want it to be. after being with somebody for such a long time and spending so much time together, we are bound to have differences and conflicts. since the mister makes music from home and i stay home with the kids, we see each other maybe a little too much? i don't want to be that blogger who looks or makes it seem like life is always perfect because my life isn't. i am very grateful for what i have, sometimes i feel scared that something bad is going to happen because its so unreal to have such a beautiful life with these two amazing kids and amazing man in my life. and sometimes i over think everything in my life, i feel insecure of my appearance, my parenting, my relationship, my career and i feel sad that i have lost my identity. i am not the person i was before i was a mom, obviously. but i don't do anything that i found joy in before and i miss a lot of things. mostly being with my best friends who i consider to be more like family. i also miss dancing sometimes. you would think that being the girlfriend of a dj i would go dancing more often but no. it is important for me to have communication in my relationship and know that we are just good, there's nothing shady going on and that our priorities are the same. after trying to be heard this weekend all i wanted this valentines day was to be understood. i wanted to be heard and appreciated and loved. i wanted to put egos aside and just get a big hug from the man i love so much that i have dedicated my life to him. maybe next year i will have a better valentines day..
although i am terrified of dropping off my kids at preschool, i know that day will come. and i am looking forward to the hours of handwriting little valentines to little class mates and reading all the lovely notes my kids get on valentines day. and aside from all my feelings this holiday, i was happy to spend the day with my funny little valentines. they make my heart happy.
niko wore: shirt, babies r us. jacket, jeans, levis. shoes, target
luna wore: dress, harajuku mini for target. tights, walmart. shoes, gymboree. bow, made by me.
