MISSING...

because as we all know i haven't had the best week of my life, i am really needing some time with my folks. i miss my people, the ones who truly know me and have my back. i am missing the people who know how to make me laugh, the people i have known forever and love me unconditionally. this special lady here holding niko is one of my best friends tassia, she has the biggest heart and the kindest soul. you don't find many people like her in a lifetime. not to say i don't love people in l.a., san diego is just my comfort zone. it would be perfect if all my loves just moved to long beach and we could have spontaneous times of fun like we used to. while we lived in san diego i didn't see my friends and family on a daily basis, but when you have kids its hard. specially not having any sitters most of the time. i still get in my own bubble here and don't leave the house most days..  im kind of a hermit or a vampire who is afraid of the sun most days. i want to challenge myself to make friends in my new city. i need it, ever since i was able to talk i have been a people person. being indoors with the kids is making the kids and i go crazy and even more, the mister. it takes me so long to get myself and the kids ready to do anything. this is going on my list of things i need to work on, and the list is pages long. send positive thoughts please. thank you. xo

MY FUNNY VALENTINES

let me just start with saying that i have never been a fan of valentines day, even now that i am in a relationship. it seems we put so much pressure on this day for it to be so romantic and magical. well our day wasn't any of that, we had a lovely picnic with the kids and got sushi and chicken teriyaki and pb&j sandwiches for our little funny valentines. since the weather hasn't been so pretty we didn't stay very long after eating our food we just gave the rest to the birdies and took off, it was too windy and cold for the playground. we took flowers and a card to my mom in law and spend the rest of the day visiting... what i am starting to get over now is not having any romance on valentines day.. we have love, laughter and romance most days of the year but it just wasn't right yesterday. out of six years of being with my mister, we have only spent one other valentines day and it was so nice going to vegas because he had to play there. im not a fan of going to vegas but getting away with my love was fun, we always have fun together. i am not going to sit here and type a phony story or dish him  out but real life isn't always what we want  it to be. after being with somebody for such a long time and spending so much time together, we are bound to have differences and conflicts. since the mister makes music from home and i stay home with the kids, we see each other maybe a little too much? i don't want to be that blogger who looks or makes it seem like life is always perfect because my life isn't. i am very grateful for what i have, sometimes i feel scared that something bad is going to happen because its so unreal to have such a beautiful life with these two amazing kids and amazing man in my life. and sometimes i over think everything in my life, i feel insecure of my appearance, my parenting, my relationship, my career and i feel sad that i have lost my identity. i am not the person i was before i was a mom, obviously. but i don't do anything that i found joy in before and i miss a lot of things. mostly being with my best friends who i consider to be more like family. i also miss dancing sometimes. you would think that being the girlfriend of a dj i would go dancing more often but no. it is important for me to have communication in my relationship and know that we are just good, there's nothing shady going on and that our priorities are the same. after trying to be heard this weekend all i wanted this valentines day was to be understood. i wanted to be heard and appreciated and loved. i wanted to put egos aside and just get a big hug from the man i love so much that i have dedicated my life to him. maybe next year i will have a better valentines day..
although i am terrified of dropping off my kids at preschool, i know that day will come. and i am looking forward to the hours of handwriting little valentines to little class mates and reading all the lovely notes my kids get on valentines day. and aside from all my feelings this holiday, i was happy to spend the day with my funny little valentines. they make my heart happy.

niko wore: shirt, babies r us. jacket, jeans, levis. shoes, target

luna wore: dress, harajuku mini for target. tights, walmart. shoes, gymboree. bow, made by me. 

OCCUPY SKID ROW

i don't even know what day it was because i lose track of time and days like every single day. im pretty clueless. but, martin luther king weekend we headed over to skid row with the kids for the occupy skid row festival. if you don't know the l.a. area you might have never heard of this place. skid row is one of the largest homeless neighborhoods in america. i never thought i would be taking my kids to skid row, it smells like urine and is filled with mentally disabled people. for various reasons thousands of people have taken over these streets of downtown los angeles and turned it into their home. and why did i gladly go with my little family? chuck d (from the rap group, public enemy) put together a concert to raise awareness about homelessness. he got together an incredible lineup of west coast artist to perform and the vibe was really beautiful. there were men playing live drums while acts were on and off. and they also had a really good food truck.
we were able to meet up with friends and had a really good time. once we went home i couldn't help but think, how can we help these people? i don't have all this money to donate or time to go help. but there must be something! that's how my mom raised us and im so thankful she did. she took us to orphanages and retirement homes to donate our time and really just give them our love and attention so i want to raise my kids the same way. although there are many things i need to look into i have also taken our kids to other protest and hope when they are older they have an activist mind and heart and fight for other people's rights and freedom. because once you get out there and put yourself in other people's shoes is when you get to realize how easy and beautiful your own life is. i want my kids to appreciate what they have and show gratitude by helping others in any way they can. & once they are old enough to understand, they will see they have been part of change and history since they were only a couple months old.

Luna is wearing.. poncho, childrens place. leggings, baby gap. shoes, converse.
Niko is wearing.. sweater, children's place. shirt, mexico. jeans, levi's. shoes, stella mccartney for baby gap.

& here's a little playlist with some songs we heard that afternoon... 

photos source: l.a. times 

THINGS I AM LOVING AT THE MOMENT

like i always say, its the little things that count! there has been so many cool things going on due to holidays around these parts that are making this mama happy. i am loving how christmas has brought our family to spend more time together. i am with my kiddos all day every day but going to raouls parent's house to spend holidays is always full of love and happy energy. and my older sister came by last weekend and this weekend to see her in-laws about five miles away and was able to squeeze us in for a quick visit. yesterday my kiddos got to play with their cousins and they love them so much! so as my heart is filled with joy and love, i want to share some pieces of it with you. what is making you happy lately? i'd love to hear! :)

1. felt bows, i really loved making bows for my nieces this christmas. i am keeping some bows for luna of course and some are going to friends too. i hope to make a tutorial this week to share with you guys. 2. vintage children's books, i found a cute tom and jerry book for niko on new years day while the mister and i were out shopping. niko is loving tom and jerry lately and i couldn't be happier about that. i have the sweetest memories of my sisters and i watching tom and jerry and having all the episodes memorized! 3. polaroids. the mister got me an instax camera for my birthday and it's seriously the greatest gift! 

i love having a dog that loves my kids so much, he annoyingly barks at random people who walk by sometimes and the mail man is his worse enemy but thats normal right? i forget that he's still a puppy sometimes because he doesn't look like one but he's not even a year old yet. he's really clumsy and lays where he's not supposed to but he's a sweetie and overall a really good dog. once i stop whatever im doing  and cuddle him, i feel he appreciates it and loves my attention. giving love regardless feels great. 

Niko has been "in character" for a while now and wears his Super Mario costume all day long . i must call him "Mario" and I am Princess Peach. Luna is Toad and Papa is Luigi and our pup is a "Gumba". its hard to remember to call everybody by their Super Mario character name but its so cool to see and hear him use his imagination more and more. oh and he cut his forehead open on monday while running into the garage door while it was half way open. :(

this rocking horse was given to niko by his favorite person in the whole world, his grandma. and it had been sitting in their shed for months so i asked if i could bring it home and so i did. raoul was thinking of getting luna a rocking horse for christmas and this one is in mint condition. i love that luna gets so many hand-me-downs and even from her big brother. luna wears nikos old pajamas, t-shirts and even has a pair of yo gabba gabba vans waiting for her in the closet. because i always felt that luna's style is pretty fun and eclectic. luna is sweet and gentle but also brave and wild. monday we got a huge bag of hand me downs from their cousins. hooray for hand me downs! its such a beautiful way to give. 

TRYING TO KEEP UP...

its been almost a week since i have been able to post anything and when i dont blog, i miss it. but life gets hectic when you have kiddos at home. this week we got rid of lunas crib and got her a toddler bed like niko. she is only eighteen months but she just wasn't digging her crib anymore and was furious every time we put her down in her crib. she liked nikos bed or mama and papa's bed so now she has her own. we also set up the book shelves and organized a lot more in the kiddo room. its been a work in progress for say, two years. yesterday i got a new camera and need to learn how to use that thing. maybe i should take a photography class? i ended up getting this one. another huge milestone next to luna's new bed... niko and i went to see a preschool for him and i think we found a good one! we'll see if they'll have availability in septermber. some scary stuff happening over here. also today is the last chance to enter the shutterfly giveaway. if you want to win a photo book of your own just comment here and let me know you want it! have a happy thursday! xo 

mommy and baby playground fun while niko's at his grandma's house. 

outside kmart where i bought my camera.

the kiddos at the swap meet. we didn't buy any of this.