MOM LIFE

i am a stay at home mom, for now. and while i do feel grateful i get to be with my children during their first years, i also struggle with parenting. i feel like this is normal and we all second guess ourselves during the tough moments. for us, most days are roller coasters. there are usually a couple small temper tantrums and lots of hugs and i love yous in between to keep me going. what i do need help with is disciplining when they are being rude or disrespectful. i feel like it will eventually fade away but for the time being, its hard not to reprimand my kid. i am mainly talking about my boy, luna is starting to have her moments here and there but she is mostly mellow and independent. don't get me wrong, niko is a really sweet boy. niko loves to tell us that he loves us and gives hugs daily. he watches out for his little sister and has a very funny imagination. when niko gets irritated or doesn't get his way, he usually screams out gibberish or says stop it mama, to get negative attention. sounds silly but i can't get this boy out of this habit. and also to get him on a healthy eating habit. boy are these kids picky eaters. sometimes when i have been alone with the kids for weeks at a time i feel like my head is going to explode. i want to have more of a balanced life and that is one thing i have struggled with for four years now. our family isn't like most families, and i love that about us. raoul and i  had a similar lifestyle before we moved in together and as a family i think we understand each others needs and we try to help each other through our tough moments. raoul is kind of a workaholic, he makes his own bookings and if he's not dealing with that, he's making music. that leaves me and the kids together most of the day. i crave going on dates with my love, i want two hours alone with him to get out of the house and not have to deal with who wants something to drink. we haven't gone on a date in a very long time. i feel we need it. don't marriages need this? uh yes. yes we do.
and even as i type, i feel selfish and guilty admitting it. i know these children are my responsibility and i try to be a good mother. some days i don't try hard enough. but i am learning. some days i wish i had a job, some days i wish i was rich so i could afford a nanny but most days i am enjoying motherhood. i hope once we move good changes are made. i hate complaining and i feel like i am right now. life really isn't that bad, i am just venting and tired. i'm gonna hit the wine now. peace.

MEXICO TRIP, THE GOOD PARTS

this is the most photo heavy post as of yet. i mean, there's a ton of photos. hope u don't mind.

we were in mexico city for a total of ten days... we originally had five or six cities to visit scheduled but with the whole problem that we had we only stayed in one city. a whole week went by with me and the kids dealing with illness, vomiting and trying to figure out how to get papa out of place he was being held at.
we had our flight scheduled for a monday morning and friday evening i decided that the weekend was going to be spent out and about, having fun with friends and the kids as they had already recovered from their fever and stomach bug. i did feel guilty enjoying myself while papa was being held like a prisoner. and then i thought about the kids. i usually don't have them inside a house for a week in a row. so i thought i owed it to them to have a nice time in mexico after we were already there. the weekend before we came back home we went to the frida khalo museum, which was the house where her and diego rivera lived as a married couple. we roamed around her old neighborhood. it is a beautiful little town called "coyoacan" so much beauty and culture. we sat at a park and watched a mime put on a show, we had ice cream, bought candy and little souvenirs. then we went back home with the friends we were staying with and had some beers and played video games.
sunday was spent in "colonia roma" and "la condesa" those two neighborhoods are very similar to new york city. it is where i would live if i ever moved to mexico city, i wouldn't move there just hypothetically. these two neighborhoods are right next to each other & have all the cool and hip shops and restaurants. the city is filled with artists and musicians, foreigners and people with style. even the street vendors have amazing food.
anyway.. sunday, we walked around the neigborhood and shopped at their weekly vintage flea market. we walked to local stores and saw some art galleries. then we took the littles to the coolest playground i have ever seen in mexico. a playground so colorful and safe. i remember being there two years ago with the kids and watching a local jazz band playing there. while the band was playing i remember vividly savoring the moment and truly appreciating being there with my kids and our good friend lili. the next day we took off at 5:30am to come back home, i only slept one hour. i had a lot of luggage and two kids to carry. because they were both in the mood to be carried. but once we got on the plane, i had a balloon i kept blowing and letting the air out to make that funny sound and they giggled and then went to sleep for most of the flight. good thing my sister was waiting for us at the gate when we arrived. later when we got to her house i took the best bubble bath of my life, and for that simple act of thoughtfulness, i will always treasure that time. a simple thing like a twenty minute bubble bath made this tired mama so happy that day. it was exactly what i needed.